A Childhood Stained, a Voice Reclaimed
by Joseph Behnke
this one… this one hurt to write. like really hurt.
Before 18: The Untold Stories of Drug Abuse is the second part of my story — the part i kept locked away for years. the one i swore i’d never tell. but silence doesn’t heal. and sometimes, speaking the truth is the only way to survive it.
this book picks up where in joseph’s footsteps left off. but this one? it’s different. it’s darker. it’s deeper. it stands on its own. this is the part where innocence ended and survival began. where pain became addiction. where addiction became escape. and where escape almost cost me everything.
i’m talkin pills. powder. needles. addiction to people. addiction to chaos. addiction to not feeling empty. but it didn’t start with the drugs — it started way before that. with broken trust. with nights i cried myself to sleep. with the family secrets no one ever wanted to talk about. with the lies i told just to feel loved.
this isn’t a redemption arc. this isn’t some picture-perfect recovery story. i don’t have a bow to tie at the end. this is the real story. the one most people are too afraid to tell. it’s not pretty. but it’s honest. and sometimes, that’s all we have.
in these pages, i talk about the people who hurt me. the ones who saved me. the nights i didn’t think i’d make it. the mornings i wished i hadn’t. but i also talk about healing — the slow, messy kind. the kind that takes years. the kind that starts with finally saying, “this happened to me.”
if you’ve ever felt invisible. if you’ve ever chased numb just to make the pain stop. if you’ve ever begged for someone to see you — this one’s for you.
this is for the kid who thought they were too broken to be loved. the teen who spiraled. the adult still trying to piece it all together. this book is my truth. and maybe it’ll help you find yours.
i didn’t write this for applause. i wrote it so i could finally breathe. and maybe, just maybe, so could you.
